27 August 2009 Bygone Black Coffee
Starbucks; K-Street & 16th; Washington D.C.
Friday, 7 August 2009; 9:26AM
Just spent my last $2 on a cup of joe. No fandango. Just black coffee. The attendant was astonished. “Is that all?” she asks.
“Of course,” I reply. “Why? Do you not get many of me in an average morning flow?”
“How often do people order a simple black coffee in this place?”
“Not many,” she says.
“Sucks,” I smile.
“It’s okay,” she smiles back.
But it isn’t. Not to me, anyway. This Starbucks is only 2-3 blocks from the White House; the Treasury. This is an extremely self-conscious part of town. Yes Men and Yes Women order Large Iced Vanilla Metroccinos, and eye-fuck the sandwich board in the entrance advertising the New! Strawberry Banana Vivianno Smoothies!
Made with One Whole Banana!
And Fresh Strawberry Purree!
And Whey Protein & Fiber Power!
And Fresh 2% milk!
…and only 280 calories!!!
Only in America: a beverage designed for fashionable young Professionals and constipated Stoner meatheads.