29 October 2009 Her Hittin’ the Floor, and Me Hittin’ the Clits
She don’t remember shit! Just the two hits!
Her hittin the floor, and me hittin the clits!
Suckin on the tits! Had the hooker beggin for the dick
And your moms ain’t ugly love; my dick got rock quick
I guess I was a combination of House of Pain and Bobby Brown
I was “Humpin Around” and “Jump-in Around”
Jacked her then I asked her who’s the man;
she said, “B-I-G” Then I bust in her E-Y-E.
[Puff Daddy: Yo Big, you’re dead wrong.]
One morning last summer I was entering data into my laptop on the campaign trail for then-Senator Obama when my iTunes shuffled forth the song “Dead Wrong” by the Notorious B.I.G. feat. Eminem. As this is one of the most repulsively violent songs I enjoy, I immediately changed it out of consideration for the moral health of what I suspected were kinder ear drums in the office.
Enter Organizing Fellow Britney, the most beautiful black Venus I’ve ever seen, with a smile that didn’t lie, a body that couldn’t lie, and a velveteen melodic voice that was as easy on the ears as the rest of her was on the eyes.
“Ohh why’d you change it…?” she asked.
“Wait, you actually want me to play that song?” I replied.
“Hellll yeah I do,” she sang back with that smile a man can only obey, and so I did.
Every morning after that, then-Senator Obama’s Organizing Fellows arrived at the humble field office on Indianapolis Blvd. (next to the Planned Parenthood), made a strong pot of filthy coffee, and bumped “Dead Wrong” at full volume, for spirit. It became our office anthem, and thus Obama’s anthem, in East Chicago/Hammond, Indiana during the hot mid-summer months of Campaign ‘08.
Listen to “Dead Wrong” here.